CLINTON BACK IN WHITE HOUSE: FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE TAPPED AS VP AFTER WALTZ’S LATE-NIGHT GAFFE

CLINTON BACK IN WHITE HOUSE: FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE TAPPED AS VP AFTER WALTZ’S LATE-NIGHT GAFFE

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Washington, D.C. – In a stunning turn of events that has left the political world reeling, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has been tapped to replace Vice President Waltz following what insiders are calling “the most catastrophic late-night talk show appearance in American history.”

The announcement came early this morning from a visibly exhausted President, who addressed reporters from the Rose Garden. “After careful consideration and several hours of crisis meetings, I have asked Secretary Clinton to step in as our new Vice President,” the President stated, dark circles evident under his eyes. “Her experience and steady hand are exactly what this administration needs right now.”

The decision comes on the heels of Vice President Waltz’s disastrous appearance on “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” last night, where the VP reportedly mistook a potted plant for the host and engaged in a 17-minute one-sided conversation about nuclear launch codes.

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“It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion,” said one audience member who wished to remain anonymous. “At first, we thought it was some kind of elaborate sketch, but then Fallon started frantically signaling to the control room, and we realized something was terribly wrong.”

Sources close to the administration reveal that the President was woken up at 3 AM and immediately convened an emergency meeting with his closest advisors. “The room was tense,” said one White House staffer. “Everyone was asking the same question: how do we spin a Vice President who can’t tell the difference between Jimmy Fallon and a ficus?”

Clinton, who had been enjoying a quiet retirement filled with woodland walks and surprise appearances at Broadway shows, was reportedly hesitant to accept the role. “She initially told us she was ‘done with this circus,'” a source close to Clinton revealed. “But after we showed her the clip of Waltz trying to high-five the plant, she sighed and said, ‘Fine, I’ll do it. But I’m keeping my pantsuits.'”

Republican leaders have been quick to criticize the move, with Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell stating, “This is clearly a desperate attempt by the administration to distract from their own incompetence. Also, I thought we were done with the Clintons.”

Meanwhile, late-night hosts are scrambling to adjust their monologues, with Stephen Colbert reportedly scrapping an entire segment on cryptocurrency to focus on what he’s calling “Plantgate.”

As for former VP Waltz, his whereabouts are currently unknown. An unnamed Secret Service agent reported last seeing him “having an intense debate with a vending machine in the West Wing.”

Political analysts are divided on how this sudden change will affect the administration’s agenda moving forward. Dr. Eleanor Rigby, professor of Political Science at Georgetown University, noted, “On one hand, Clinton brings a wealth of experience and a robust network of international connections. On the other hand, this administration now has to explain why their previous VP thought a plant was Jimmy Fallon. It’s a real toss-up.”

As Washington adjusts to this unexpected shakeup, one thing is clear: the next State of the Union address will be watched very closely, with viewers paying particular attention to whether the new VP can successfully identify all members of Congress, or if any potted plants have been removed from the chamber as a precautionary measure.

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